10 Days In The Akatsuki
by SpaceIsTheLimit
Summary: The Akatsuki are criminal masterminds, we know this. But we don't know just how humorous their lives can be. [10 chapters of pure Akatsuki]. Not in order in the slightest.
1. Welcome to The Akatsuki

**Welcome to the Akatsuki-** _Here's the complete Akatsuki._

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"You can suck my over grown dick!" Alright Hidan was here, Pain dulled and noted.

"The next time I cut off your head, I'm not stitching it back!" Kakuzu was here early today. Pain checked him off.

"What do 'ya mean art isn't an explosion, hm?" Deidara was here early, unfortunately. Pain marked him off. He was better than Orochimaru ogling Itachi all the time at least.

"Art is everlasting, just like your ignorance." Ah, Sasori was up and at 'em as well. Pain erased his name.

"Zetsu-senpai, Tobi is huungry! Why does Tobi have to be up early?" Madara was still awake with his silly antics, Pain never wrote his name down anyway.

"Tobi, it's okay. **Shut the hell up Tobi.** " Zetsu and his cursing, Pain groaned and checked him off.

"As hectic as usual, eh Itachi-san?" At least the shark wasn't screaming, Pain sighed.

"Hn." Itachi as quiet as usual, Pain marked him off. He turned to see Konan at his right side. That made up everyone, the Akatsuki was officially complete. Kakuzu couldn't kill his partner, Zetsu could handle Tobi, everything was in order. Pain sighed and handed his clipboard to Konan.

"Ahem." They still kept speaking. "Ahem!" They wouldn't shut up. "Shinra Tensei!" Hidan, Deidara, and Tobi got blown away. Sasori held onto the biggest object, which was Kakuzu. Itachi kept his ground and Kisame held onto him. Zetsu snuck into the ground. " _Now._ As I was saying, the Akatsuki is now complete. So welcome to the Akatsuki, I hope you survive the experience." Pain smirked at some of thier trembling faces.

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 **More to come!**

 **~SpaceIsTheLimit~**


	2. The Budget

**The Budget-** _Kakuzu's cheapness._

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Kakuzu looked over the base once more. He glared at the couch which if he got rid of, it would save $75. The Akatsuki could sit on the floor, couldn't they? Didn't Itachi's book collection cost some?

"The hell are you doing?" Hidan questioned.

"Lowering our budget. I'm trying to get it to $80 by the end of the week. Hey...how much did your bed cost?" Hidan glared at him.

"We aren't getting rid of my bed, I make sacrifices on that!" Kakuzu sighed. Maybe everyone would have to start skipping breakfast.

"Then none of us shall eat breakfast and dinner anymore." Hidan and Kakuzu turned to hear a familiar snicker. To reveal Deidara and his annoying face.

"Like hell I'm skipping dinner, hm. Why don't you just sell Sasori's other puppets, hm?" Hidan and Kakuzu sweat dropped. They remember the last time they attempted to sell one of those. Ended in an exploded base, a bald Kisame, and many bad memories. Didn't help that it was Konan's time of the month back then.

"I don't want a timely demise. I'm gonna sell Itachi's books." Kakuzu decided, until he heard a yawn from the doorway turned into a laugh.

"You wouldn't be able too. He put a barrier of Ametarasu around them. Only he can get through." Kisame lamented. Kakuzu cursed. Maybe he could sell Kisame's Samehada. It was a valuable sword. It would go for 115 or maybe $200.

"Let me sell your sword." Kisame laughed bitterly.

"Touch my sword and you'll die." He blinked.

"I can't, remember?" Kakuzu teased.

"I'll rip out one of your hearts and feed it to Zetsu." Kisame dead panned. Kakuzu shuddered.

"I'd lend you my heart, hm!" Deidara smiled. Hidan laughed. "No one wants your heart Deidara. Not until we figure out what gender you are!" Deidara glared.

"You guys only say that because I have long hair, hm!" Kisame scratched the back of his head and shrugged. "Yeah, but you're also very girlish." Deidara glared.

"Hidan can be girlish!" Hidan pointed his blade at him. "Fuck off Dei." Deidara brought out his bombs.

"You wanna go?" Kakuzu glared and brought out his tentacles. "I'm not paying off any more damages, so both of you shut up." They refrained from killing each other.

"Why don't you sell Leader-sama's adult books?" They turned to see Tobi at the doorway. They sweat dropped.

"No way..! Pain in the ass has adult books?" Hidan snorted. Tobi nodded eagerly.

"Tobi knows where they are, wanna see?!" Kisame shook his head, Hidan gave an eager yes, Deidara laughed, and Kakuzu contemplated it. But he didn't want to be on the end of an angry Shinra Tensei.

"No, that's not a good idea..." Kakuzu shuddered.

"You all are hopeless, just sell Deidara's clay." Sasori spoke up, entering though the doorway as well. Deidara jumped.

"No I don't think so! Let's sell your puppets, hm?!" Deidara warned. Sasori gloomed.

"Touch them and you're dead." Kisame rolled his eyes. Kakuzu growled in frustration.

"Can any of you give good ideas!?" He shouted.

"What's with the ruckus? **We are trying to sleep.** " Zetsu sighed. They all groaned.

"OOh great, another arriver! Do you have an idea as to what we can sell?" Deidara growled angrily, losing his patience.

"Adult books..." Tobi reminded and earned a glare from all.

"You all are hysterical." They turned to see Konan.

"Oh for fuck sake!" Hidan cursed. "Hey...can we sell Konan's body?" Konan pointed deadly paper bombs at him. "What was that?" Hidan gulped. "N-nothing.." Konan smirked and hid her bombs, "As I thought."

"Does anyone have any smart ideas!?" Kakuzu asked, now getting hysterical himself. They heard a sigh from the window, they turned to see Itachi had been seated on the window sill the entire time.

"If you really want to save money, then request more missions from Leader-sama." Itachi closed his eyes and crossed his arms.

...

...

"Huh.." Kakuzu stated. "It was that easy. Well thanks Itachi, you were actually useful, I guess." Kakuzu ran off to request more missions, but he wished he had knocked before entering Pains room.

"Holy CRAP! Sorry, sorry!" Kakuzu stammered.

"Kakuzu..." Pain growled. "SHINRA TENSEI!"

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 **98 more chapters to go!**

 **~SpaceIsTheLimit~**


	3. Finish The Mission

**Finish the Mission-** _Kisame wants to take a leave during a 15 day mission._

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Kisame watched his partner walk back and forth through their room, packing clothes and other necessities into Kisame's bag. Itachi was too graceful for Kisame to understand. It made him question whether Itachi was a boy like he said he was, but from hearing his voice and seeing those cold eyes, he knew. He definitely is a boy.

"Itachi-san? Are you packing from me?" Kisame perked.

"Hn. It takes to long when you do it." Kisame smiled.

"Then...from what I can tell you packed clothes for 13 DAYS! Are we taking a leave?!" Kisame asked, excited.

"You're wrong. It's for 15 days. And it's a mission." Kisame sweat dropped.

"...huh?" Itachi dead panned.

"We leave tonight." And he continued packing. But... _wait._ What?

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Day 1, on the first day Kisame wanted nothing more than to stop walking.

"Itachi-san? Are we there yet?" Kisame asked, tired.

"No." Itachi dead panned, Kisame noticed he did that alot. After ten minutes he asked again.

"How about now?"

"No." After seven minutes, he tried again.

"Now?" Itachi sighed and paused, turning around. "If you continue to ask Kisame, I'll leave you here for dead." Kisame gulped and nodded.

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Day 2, on the second day Kisame really wanted to kill something.

They were still in the bushes and Kisame was waiting for Itachi to say something.

"Should we strike now Itachi-san?" Itachi stayed silent and watched the enemy with his Sharingan. Kisame sighed.

"The enemy is about to leave our sight Itachi-san.." Itachi stayed silent. Kisame sighed. He was jittery now. He watched and saw the enemy fall to the ground out of no where. He turned to see Itachi had used genjutsu.

"But..I didn't get to fight..."

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Day 3, the third day Kisame wanted to drink water.

There were no waterfalls around. There was nothing but grass for miles. "Itachi-san...Are we nearby a waterfall?" Kisame's mouth was parched.

"Be patient Kisame." Kisame sighed. He couldn't continue drinking his spit.

"How much longer until a village...?" Kisame asked once more, even from Itachi's comment. Itachi held back a frustrated growl.

"Kisame, you aren't the only one who's exasperated here. So please refrain from the constant questions." Kisame nodded even though Itachi couldn't see it. Kisame drank his spit again.

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Day 4, the fourth day Kisame needed to sleep.

Itachi looked unfazed, even as the sun went down and they settled for a camping spot. Itachi, as usual, decided to take first watch. And even though Kisame needed sleep he felt bad seeing Itachi's bags under his eyes get darker. Not good for such a young kids.

"No, I'll take first watch." Itachi wasn't even awake enough to argue, but still tried.

"I'm fine. I'll take watch." Itachi really doesn't like to show his vulnerable side. Kisame sighed.

"I've got it Itachi. Go to sleep, we both know you need it." And because Kisame noticeably removed the honorific '-san' he let it go. Kisame was content and let Itachi sleep throughout the night.

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Day 5, Kisame needed to sleep again.

Itachi stirred, "Why didn't you wake me up?" Itachi glared, but it just seemed like a kitten trying to roar, didn't really work unless he wanted Kisame to 'aww.'

"You..were..tired.." Kisame yawned. Itachi rubbed his eyes.

"And so were you." Itachi mumbled. Kisame smirked.

"Worried about me, Itachi-san?" Itachi glared more efficiently this time.

"You're keeping watch again." Kisame pouted.

"Aw, no fair!" But he knew Itachi would let him sleep.

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Day 6, Kisame's stomach had to be filled.

Meat, meat, meat. He needed meat. Kisame drooled just thinking of biting down into some good food for once. Since he hadn't eaten since they started this long trek. He smiled when they reached a village, with an Inn too!

"Ah Itachi-san, can we-"

"We're here to get the target, then we leave." Kisame felt his stomach growl.

"Hai Itachi-san..."

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Day 7, Kisame lost his sanity.

You know you're insane when you say no to an Uchiha. "We leave at dusk." Itachi spoke and set up the camp. Kisame was incoherent.

"Noo.." Itachi paused in his musings and turned slowly. It worried Kisame.

"Did you say something?" He oddly noted Itachi activated his Mongenkyou.

"Uh...must've been the wind.." Kisame sweat dropped.

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Day 8, Kisame wanted to go home even more.

He never felt home sick before, especially not from a place filled with annoying killers and sadists.

"..Itachi-san, what day is it?" Itachi didn't respond and instead slit the throat of someone who was following them. Kisame didn't flinch.

"Hey...doesn't he look like Deidara?" Itachi gave him the 'are-you-crazy' look. "Doesn't everything look like Hidan?" Itachi twitched.

"It's just the eighth day Kisame."

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Day 9, Kisame and Itachi encountered Hebi.

"Uhh, this is awkward..." Suigetsu and Kisame spoke at the same time. Sasuke stared for a moment then forgot about all he had to do for Orochimaru and pulled out his blade. Itachi went into crow form and appeared behind the team and kept walking leisurely. Kisame ran to catch up.

"Wha..?" Sasuke turned and cursed. "Get back here!" Itachi blocked his blade with his kunai, that Kisame has no idea where he got.

They two stared each other down with Sharingan. Itachi sighed and turned around, continuing to walk on. "You're still too weak. I have no interest in fighting right now." Kisame snickered.

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Day 10, Kisame began to unconsciously count the seconds that passed.

"1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8..." It pissed Itachi off to no holds bar. Kisame wouldn't quit it though.

He counted in the rain.

He counted in the heat.

He counted when falling asleep, and he even counted when Itachi pointed a kunai to his throat. "Kisame.." He snapped out of his reverie. "If you don't stop, I'll kill you before you hit 300. Kisame gulped.

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Day 11, Kisame kept staring at his feet.

Maybe if he kept staring he would forget he was walking. And then he'd forget he was going anywhere. Then he'd forget he was on a mission.

Kisame tripped and landed on quite a pale specimen. One, that glared at him. "Ah...Itachi-san..."

"Kisame...get off." Kisame did as told.

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Day 12, Kisame was sure Itachi was sick of him now.

Itachi would snap almost too quickly at Kisame's constant questions. He'd glare more when Kisame kept sighing.

"Itachi-san is sick of me, right?" Kisame asked, bemused. Itachi rose a brow.

"No. I'm quite used to your annoying bouts." Kisame pouted.

"Annoying?"

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Day 13, Kisame could finally eat, drink, and sleep.

He practically drank the entire waterfall.

He ate more than what you could in an all you can eat.

He slept past dusk. He felt refreshed. And even better knowing he could return to the base in two more days.

He can't believe he actually missed those wierdos.

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Day 14, Kisame was on the verge of killing Itachi. Or trying to.

He never thought the day would come when he'd be sick to death of his partner, but he was. And he wanted Itachi to be loud and rowdy for once. Kisame swore he would maybe kill himself.

"Itachi-san, you're awfully quiet..."

"You're awfully loud." Itachi mimicked. Touche.

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Day 15, Kisame was grateful.

He sliced the head off the last enemy happily. And grateful he could just get home.

Itachi turned to face him. "Does this mean the mission is over?" Itachi nodded. "Yes!" Kisame cheered. Itachi smirked.

"And now the leave starts. For another 15 days." Kisame paused. Wait, really? He contemplated it.

"Actually, I just want to get to the base..."

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 **Poor Kisame, berated for 15 days..**

 **~SpaceIsTheLimit~**


	4. Pain's Pain

**Pain's Pain-** _Pain can't stand any of his members._

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Pain hates every single person he's ever recruited into the Akatsuki. Especially the current ones. Some of them were tolerable, but some were insatiable. Like Hidan...

"Yo! Pain in the ass, what's with the expression? Haven't gotten laid yet!?" Hidan snickered.

"SHINRA TENSEI!"

And then there was his dick partner. He was so cheap and stingy. Too bad it would take hell to kill him and he was actually quite valuable to the team. That Kakuzu...

"Leader-sama, I request more missions with better money arrangements." Pain twitched.

"And the money would be for..?" Kakuzu rose a brow.

"Myself of course."

"SHINRA TENSEI!"

Don't forget that idiotic bomber that destroyed his office once. Along with papers he had worked on for months. Stupid Deidara...

"Because true art is an explosion! HM!" Deidara gulped seeing his C3 go somewhere unintended.

"Deidara..." He growled and put his hand on Deidara's face. "SHINRA TENSEI!"

Sasori was one of those tolerable ones. He could be tolerable, yes. But at certain times a Shinra Tensei was necessary. The puppeteer asked for it when he destroyed the base that time Kakuzu sold his puppets. Dumbass Sasori...

Pain gaped at the base and turned to look at who he thought to be the cause. Deidara gulped. "It wasn't me! It was Sasori!" Pain ignored the crying Kisame that was bald and stepped over to Sasori, planting his hand right on his cheek.

Sasori tried to mutter an apology, but too late, "SHINRA TENSEI!"

Zetsu was also tolerable, but that's only because he was being protected by Madara. If not, the plant man would be dead by now. The foolish Zetsu...

"Pain, Kakuzu killed another partner." Pain sighed.

 **"You really can't maintain a team, huh?"** Pain growled.

"Now, now, it's not his fault he isn't intimidating." Pain twitched.

 **"He's probably impotent.."** Oh how Pain wanted to kill him.

"Oh, haha, where did that come from?" Screw it.

"SHINRA TENSEI!"

Then there was Madara's silly disguise as Tobi. He wanted nothing more than for the Uchiha to be dead. But he needed Madara to gain world peace. Bastard Madara...

"Oi Pain, Tobi wants a cracker." Madara teased in his Tobi voice. Pain threw the cracker at him. "Rude, aren't we?" There was the Madara voice.

Kisame and Itachi were a pain in of their own. Itachi by him self was tolerable. Kisame by himself as well. But they were expressionfull when together.

"Should we leave now, Itachi-san?" Kisame asked.

"Hn." Grunt from the Uchiha.

"We'll skip breakfast then?" Kisame asked again, bemused.

"Hn." Another grunt. It almost pissed Pain off how unmatchable the two were. And so..

"SHINRA TENSEI!"

Konan was the only one Pain didn't hate and could stand to be around for more than a second.

"Nagato?" Pain nodded. "You really love this team, don't you?" He stayed silent.

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 **Aw, leader love.**

 **~SpaceIsTheLimit~**


	5. The Angel

**The Angel-** _Konan wants to spread her wings._

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Pain counted off to see half of his members were asleep and the other half were probably killing themselves. He sighed, another hectic morning. "Sasori, where's Deidara?" Sasori looked around.

"Heck if I know. I'm not an idiot's keeper." Sasori shrugged.

"An idiot's what now, hm?" Deidara glared, walking into the room. Sasori cursed, he was pretty sure that automatic puppet was going to kill him.

"And what was with the puppet, Danna!?" Sasori shifted. Pain looked around. "And Kisame, where's Itachi?" Kisame pondered it a bit.

"It was all a blur. People were talking about the Uchiha, he concealed his anger. And I think someone died." Kisame shrugged, Hidan snorted.

"Damn, would've loved to see that." Pain groaned.

"Okay...where the hell is Zetsu and Tobi?" They all shrugged. Pain growled in his throat.

"Uwaah, Zetsu-senpai, Tobi needs sleep.." Tobi complained, walking into the meeting room. Along with Zetsu. Now the only people missing were Kakuzu, and Itachi.

"Where the hell is Kakuzu!?" Pain lost his patience. They turned when hearing a low grumble entering through the door.

"Here, here...just stood up all night counting money..." He smiled remembering how much there was. Hidan glared.

"So that's what that was!? That shit kept me awake for five hours!" Kakuzu glared right back.

"It certainly isn't my fault your lazy ass couldn't sleep." Hidan brought out his scythe.

"I'll make sure to put you into eternal slumber." Kakuzu brought out his tentacles.

"I'm not interested in keeping your heart.." He chuckled darkly. Pain twitched.

"SHINRA TENSEI!" Kakuzu and Hidan were sent flying out of the base. Pain sighed, two less annoying people. "Okay, Kisame, can you go and get Itachi." Kisame sweat dropped.

"No..he was in a very foul mood last night. I'd like to stay alive thank you very much." Deidara laughed.

"Oh come on, he's not scary, hm!" Deidara marched off to go and get the weasel. There was screaming, crashes, and explosions, and then even more screaming.

"Ahhhh! Put it out, put it out!" Deidara ran around the base trying to get the black flames off of him. Itachi stepped out looking as calm as usual.

"Morning Itachi." Kisame smiled.

"Hn." Kakuzu and Hidan came back in, with twigs in their hair and leaves up their arses.

"Alright finally. That's everyone." Tobi blinked.

"Huh? Where's Konan-san?" They all looked around.

"I'm not getting her, last time the paper stayed where she put it.." Sasori shuddered. Pain smiled.

"We don't need to get her. She's just..."

Konan flew above the base with her angelic paper wings.

"Spreading her wings.."

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 **Only Pain could understand.**

 **~SpaceIsTheLimit~**


	6. True Art

**True Art-** _Sasori and Deidara differ._

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Deidara grinned at the village exploding in front of him. "True Art is an explosion!" Deidara danced in the sparks spewing from the village. Sasori rolled his eyes.

"An explosion, you say. It's just a mess." Deidara glared.

"It's art, hm!" Sasori walked off. "It's a mess." Sasori repeated.

Deidara watched Sasori control his puppets and kill off the enemy. "True Art is everlasting." Sasori smiled within Hiruko. Deidara scoffed. "Whatever, is that why you made yourself a puppet Danna, hm?" Sasori shrugged, even though Deidara couldn't see it.

"I'm art, because I'll last forever. And you'll die one day." Deidara paused.

"So you're immortal like Hidan and Kakuzu, hm?" Sasori looked around and then popped out of Hiruko.

"You could say that." Deidara scoffed.

"Then you aren't Art! Art is fleeting and in one moment, hm!" Deidara cooed like a school girl. Sasori grabbed the scroll from the dead man's corpse.

"You still don't get it, huh? Art is a forever beauty that many can enjoy." Deidara opened his mouth to retort, but turned to the man they assumed was dead.

"Hey, you alive bud, Hm?" The man moaned in agony as a response. "Okay, do you think art is fleeting or lasts forever?" Deidara obviously put more enthusiasm into it being fleeting. The man decided that was the right answer.

"Fleeting...?" His life was then ended by Sasori. Deidara smirked.

"He was delusional." He glared in response.

"I still say you're wrong Danna. What good is art if it loses its spark by lasting so long, hm?" Sasori set up camp.

"But what good is art if it lasts for a moment instead of forever? 'Hm'?" Sasori mimicked Deidara. Deidara molded his clay.

"See look. You like this type of art when it lasts long. But it isn't complete until." Deidara gave it one last lick and tossed it in the air. Sasori glared at the pieces of clay landing on his cloak.

"Until it becomes a mess? Your view on art is atrocious." Deidara pouted. "Oh YEAH? Well you stink at cleaning!" Sasori snorted.

"You snore at night." Sasori retorted.

"You always smell like pine wood!" Deidara spewed. Sasori rolled his eyes.

"I'm a puppet Deidara." Deidara flushed in embarrassment. "Which makes me everlasting art. And you are art until you die." Deidara smirked.

"So in your eyes, I'm art right now, hm?" Sasori sat back against the tree. "That means I'm two in one, hm! A work of art and an artist!" Sasori rolled his eyes from the millionth time that day.

"A mess of an artist." Deidara stayed silent for a while.

"..Do I really snore?" Sasori nodded.

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 **They do differ on alot of things.**

 **~SpaceIsTheLimit~**


	7. Peculiar People

**Peculiar People-** _Zetsu disagrees._

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Zetsu looked over the Akatsuki. They were filled with wierdos and crazy people. Insane people to be exact. People that were masochists, terrorists, clan killers, horeders, and did he mention one of them made them self a friggin puppet?

"Kisame isn't terrible. **He's an idiot. He follows the whims of a feeble teenager.** Ne, whims? What whims? **Who knows what those toe do behind closed doors.** Ah, True."

"Itachi is underage though isn't he? He can't even drink yet. **And so what? He's an Uchiha, and not to mention a rogue. Rules don't apply your him anymore.** But Itachi's always been uptight, Right? **Tight. Probably why Kisame listens to him.** Ah, True."

"Hidan and Kakuzu hate each other though. They can't stand bring two seconds next to each other. **Hm, Kakuzu would kill him if he wasn't immortal. He claims he wouldn't want Hidan's heart.** Yeah, neither would any sane person. **No one here is sane.** Ah, True."

"Kakuzu is very old though, isn't he? **Old. That sort of means nothing when you're me.** Huh? **Nothing.** Okay? Anyway, how old do you think he is 90, 91? **Probably older than 79. Either way, he's old.** Ah, True."

"Sasori is a puppet though, right? **Indeed.** Then when he gets horny, what does he jack off? **Probably puppet fucks Deidara for some sick humour.** Ah, True."

"Speaking of Deidara, are you sure he isn't a girl? **He's probably a girl, but wants to be a boy.** Does that mean he's a confused person. **It's called a transgender, White Zetsu.** Ah, True."

"What about Konan? Is she made of paper for real? Or is it fake? **It's not possible for it to be fake.** Yeah, but she turns into paper and then human again. I touched her once and she felt like flesh. **It's too disgusting to think about.** Ah, True."

"What of our terrible leader. **Leader is so incorrect Zetsu. You know our real leader.** Madara-san? That's who I meant. Who were you thinking of? **Pain.** Why is his name that anyway. **Because he's felt Piano from being in the Rain. And he's actually Nagato who lives in a paper tree made by Konan.** Ah...nno actually I disagree. I think Pain just likes piercings and it hurt so he calls himself Pain. **Ah, True."**

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 **Really Zetsu?**

 **~SpaceIsTheLimit~**


	8. Active as Restless

**Active as Restless-** _The Akatsuki do different things when they can't sleep._

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Hidan slowly cut another long line on his back, he was so tired yet he couldn't sleep. "44.." He'd make it to one hundred cuts. Kakuzu shuddered.

He put the blanket on his feet, but then it wouldn't touch his shoulders. He put the blanket on his shoulders but then it wouldn't touch his feet. He groaned and stood up. "I'm going to count my money." Hidan ignored and continued cutting lines on his back.

"17.."

"That's wrong Danna!"

"29.."

"Eh? Don't tell me you wanted the old lady to live?"

"34..."

"No...but I wanted to kill her, hm!"

"45..."

"No can do you would've just blown her up."

"59..."

"And how is that bad, hm? People should die like that, hm!"

"67..."

"No, people should be killed then turned into eternal art. Not disgusting bombs."

"74..."

"Eh!?" Kakuzu groaned and squeezed both their heads. "I'm trying to count my money!" Kakuzu let them go and resumed counting. "Where was I again? Damn I lost track!"

"You were at 74." They turned to see Itachi reading on the living room couch. Itachi rubbed his eyes and got up to go. "Evening at night, it's too noisy in here.." Itachi mumbled and left to go to his shared room with Kisame. He opened the door to see Kisame staring at a fish bowl.

"Itachi-san.." Kisame greeted and kept staring. Itachi rose a brow. "If you want to eat it, eat it." Kisame lightened up. "But didn't you get this from that woman in Rain?" Itachi shrugged. "It would've died anyway." Kisame shrugged as well and downed it in one gulp.

Pain sighed leisurely as Konan pressed her weight onto him. He groaned as she moved faster and faster. It felt so sensual. He knew he'd be at his limit soon. "Ne, Konan after this I'll massage you." What did you think they were doing?

"Hai Nagato." Konan recited and continued. Zetsu watched on with Madara.

"Aren't these people ludicrous, Madara-sama?" Madara shrugged.

"They suffice in keeping me amused." He changed his voice. "Deidara-senpai! Tobi wants to play too!"

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 **Ah, Madara and his persona.**

 **~SpaceIsTheLimit~**


	9. Mornings Are Boring

**Mornings Are Boring-** _Deidara always used to have boring mornings._

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Deidara poked at his food. Pancakes with syrup coming down on it with berries and whatnot topping it. He poked at it once more. Why did he make this again? Oh yeah, he used to eat it all the time back in Stone. "Oi, you gonna eat that?" Hidan asked, walking into the kitchen.

Deidara shrugged. "I'm not going to give it to you." Hidan pouted.

"I could die of starvation with how you people treat me." Deidara sweat dropped.

"You're immortal." Hidan shrugged and stole one of Deidara's pancakes, syrup and all. Kakuzu walked in to see syrup dripping on the tile.

"Watch it Hidan. Tile costs money. Unless you want to be the new house maid for a month?" Hidan shuddered.

"No thank you. I vividly remember what you made Itachi do when he was house maid for a month." Kakuzu grinned like an evil apprentice.

"Please do not remind me." Itachi walked into the kitchen and gaped at Deidara's food. "Deidara, if you don't want to equate the rest, may I have it?" They all stared blankly.

"I don't even know what the hell you just said." Deidara growled. Kisame chuckled, walking in.

"He asked for your pancakes. How'd you not get that?" Kisame rose a brow, copying the Uchihas way of style.

"Ne, because we aren't all Itachi readers. **Hm."** Zetsu spoke as he walked in dragging a lifeless Tobi. They saw paper needles inside him and knew what happened.

"What did Tobi do to pissed Konan off this time?" Kakuzu aksed.

"He called me fat." Konan growled, walking in. Tobi awoke. "Tobi didn't! I just asked if you were gaining weight!" Konan glared and stuck more needles in him. Pain walked in and rolled his eyes.

"REALLY? Every time I come in here, there's blood somewhere!" Itachi blinked.

"Last time it was your blood." Pain groaned and-

"SHINRA TENSEI!" Itachi dodged swiftly and let it hit Deidara's pancakes, making them slap his face. Deidara sighed. So much for a calm boring morning.

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* * *

 **The Akatsuki ggang and their ways. Sorry for changing the story, I don't have enough time on my hands for 100 chapters. Maybe later on I'll add again. But I want this to be a completed story soon.**

 **~SpaceIsTheLimit~**

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"And what ever happened to Sasori?" Pain asked.

"He didn't agree with my art. So I put wood oil all over the floor before I left the room."

"That costs money!" Kakuzu glared and stared at Pain to do the honors. Pain nodded.

"SHINRA TENSEI!"


	10. Bye Akatsuki

**Bye Akatsuki-** _Everyone thinks the Akatsuki would perish._

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* * *

Nagato opened his eyes. He blinked twice. Why was it so BRIGHT? And where was he anyway? "Is this the sealing place? Of Itachi's sword?" He turned to see Deidara and Sasori and the other side of the blank room. "Eh?! Deidara, Sasori!" The two in turn went up to him.

"Who are you?" Sasori asked.

"Nagat- Pain!" Deidara snickered.

"This is your real form. What screams lame more than that." Nagato twitched.

"I can still Shinra Tensei you, you know." Deidara shuddered. Nagato widened his eyes when he saw Kisame. "Kisame!" Kisame walked towards them warily.

"And you are?"

"Pain." Kisame laughed. "I really still can Shinra Tensei you guys." Kisame stopped.

"Where's Itachi?" They shrugged.

"I'd think he'd be with you." They turned and saw Konan walking up with Hidan and Kakuzu.

"Hidan!? How's that even possible?!" Deidara shrieked. Hidan rolled his eyes.

"I've been here way longer than any of you, so shut it." Nagato rose a brow.

"So that's all of us? So Itachi didn't make it to the Pure Land of the afterlife." Kisame frowned.

"Maybe he didn't." And right then a huge light got in the middle of them and appeared Itachi.

"Who didn't make it, you say?" They gasped, then smiled. "Actually I don't know why I'm here. This isn't my version of the afterlife." Sasori rose a brow.

"Your version?" Itachi nodded.

"Every one has their own, that's why Tobi isn't here. And Zetsu is still alive." Nagato smiled. They all began shining and were about to be teleported to their own version. He guessed this was just a pit stop.

"Well then..Bye Akatsuki!" They said together. And they knew it would be okay.

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* * *

 **Here concludes. And what Itachi said was true. Tobi or Obito had an afterlife with Rin in the manga. Minato had an afterlife with Kushina in the manga. Itachi I assume would be with Shisui and Izumi.**

 **~SpaceIsTheLimit~**


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